Shaken
by Leesa Perrie
Summary: Missing scene from The Hive set on the Daedalus.


**Shaken**

**By Leesa Perrie**

_Missing scene from The Hive_

He had failed. Failed his team. Sheppard, Teyla, Ronon… even Ford. Dead.

And all he could do was stare at the screen showing debris, all that was left of them.

And sure, they had saved a world from a culling, this time. But for how long? How long before other wraith came here? All he'd bought this world was time. Maybe they'd defeat the wraith before this world was culled by others, but somehow, he doubted that. The people down there, all they had now was a little more time; to die by natural means if they were lucky, before more wraith came.

In the end it meant little.

But his team…

Maybe, if he had taken less of the enzyme… maybe he would have been more coherent, able to explain, to find the hive ship sooner. Or maybe it would not have been enough to take out the guards. And then he wouldn't have been able to help anyone.

Perhaps he should have found paper, pen, pencil… something to write it all down, before taking the enzyme. But there was so little time. And… he hadn't been thinking straight. Still wasn't.

He vaguely heard the call to Atlantis in the background, telling them that the search was called off. They were heading back. There was nothing to search for. Nothing left but debris… and him. Alone. No more Sheppard, no more Teyla, no more Ronon. Damn, even Ford… though he may have been too far gone to help now anyway. But…

A thought hit him. It wouldn't have mattered if they'd found the ships earlier. They wouldn't have found his team via their radios, and Caldwell would have attacked the ships. His team would still be dead. And maybe the crew of the Daedalus as well. Because if Sheppard could have gotten to a dart earlier, he would have. So, maybe it was better this way. Sheppard was able to take out the hive ships, at least. Save the Daedalus and its crew.

But that still left his team dead, and him alone.

He was aware he was still staring at the screen. That he hadn't moved. There were no tears, not yet, but there would be. When the shock started to wear off. He should move, find somewhere quiet…

Movement next to him, and a hand on his arm, pulled him back from… somewhere. He'd drifted. Carson said the drug was still affecting him, but hadn't stopped him from trying to find his team. But he knew he'd be back in the infirmary as soon as they returned.

He felt the hand tighten slightly, and turned to look at who would dare to touch him at this moment in time. Who would dare to impinge upon his grief.

Lorne. Of all the people here, he hadn't expected it to be Lorne. There was a sadness in his eyes, but a gentleness too. Go figure. This from the guy who could barely stand him. He must seem pitiful. Though there was no pity, just sorrow in the Major's eyes.

"You should rest," Lorne suggested quietly.

No, he shouldn't rest. Not now. He turned back to the screen. Not now. He knew what was next for him. Nightmares. So no, not now. Later, maybe. Beckett would insist, later. When he was back home.

He felt Lorne retreat. Heard a communication in the background, but ignored it. But then, there were sighs of relief all around him. He looked and saw smiles. Why were they smiling? He didn't understand. And then Lorne was back.

"They're alive," he said, smiling openly, "Sheppard took the dart through the stargate to another planet, and now they're back on Atlantis."

"Alive?" His voice was hoarse.

"Yeah, alive."

Not alone. He looked away again, and then put his head in his hands. He realised he was shaking. Damned enzyme.

Alive.

"You should rest," Major Lorne repeated, tugging on his arm.

He nodded, and allowed himself to be pulled gently off the flight deck. He wasn't pleased to find himself pulled toward the Daedalus' infirmary, but didn't argue. Didn't fight. He couldn't find the energy.

He heard talking, quiet whispers, probably about him. He wasn't sure he cared right now. He let sleep take him, knowing his team were alive. He wasn't alone.

The End


End file.
